Main | Shorty and the Hustlers| Get In The Hole| Catch 23

Murphy's (Actually, Serafina's) Laws of Pool

The amount of obstructions near a pool table is inversely proportional to the quality of the short cue.

The better you are at running your balls, the greater the possibility that you will miss the eight ball shot.

When you fail to cut a ball, it's because you should have banked it. When you fail to bank a ball, it's because you should have cut it.

The more balls you run, the greater the chance you will miss the next one.

 No matter how well you are playing, your opponent is always better, unless your opponent is worse, in which case you will lose anyway.

An eight ball will only go in on a break if the cue ball goes in as well.

The better you are, the greater the probability that you will be beaten by someone who sucks.

The better you are, the greater the probability that luck is not on your side.

Actually, luck is never on your side.

The more important the game is, the louder the music is in the bar. And the more annoying the music is.

The more of an asshole your opponent is, the greater the chance that he or she will win.

The longer the line is to play pool, the greater chance you have of losing and having to sign up at the end of it.

If there is even the slightest probability of the cue ball scratching, it will.

If you make a very hard shot and your next shot is very easy, you will always miss that easy shot.

If you have to make two bank shots in a row, you will never make the second one. Unless you decide not to, in which case you would have made the second one.

If you try to set up for the next shot, you will set up perfectly but the shot you are aiming for will not go in. If it does go in, then your set-up for the next shot won't work.

The more important the shot, the greater the probability of miscuing.

Never play someone who is better looking than you are.

The more you practice, the worse you will shoot when it counts.

The harder the shot is that you make, the fewer people there are who actually saw you make it. However, the easier the shot is that you miss, the more people there are who saw you miss it.